Things you probably didn’t think about while playing these games…

Filed under Features

We’ve had our mindless button smashers and we’ve had our space operas but just how often do we stop and think whether it actually all makes sense? Just what is it all about? There used to be a time in gaming when the most absurd concept soared like an eagle. Let’s take a peek at some of our favourite games of past years…

 

Pokemon

Pokemon! We all love..or loved Pokemon. It has lot’s of different games, tv series and not to mention the toys are everywhere. So blinded are we by all the fun and cuteness that we didn’t stop to look at what it’s really about.

Pokemon is actually about a 10 year old running off alone (because when you’re 10 you should gtfo of your parents house) into the wilderness to capture 100′s of animals (some of which are endangered) by using another pre-trained animal to beat them half to death before capture. Some of these Pokemon will be used for prize fighting (the prize usually some money or a badge from a gym) and the rest will be locked away in a box somewhere never to be heard from again. Yikes!

I’m not even kidding, rethink your whole Pokemon game experience and you’ll see how messed up it really is.

 

Donkey Kong

Donkey Kong is an ape…he’s Mario’s (as in the plumber) pet ape. You know; as plumbers tend to run around saving princesses and having pet apes. If you played Donkey Kong back in the day you’ll remember it was lots of fun, you’ll also remember Mario is the villain of the game. Mario, such a nice guy! Why is Mario the villain? Well according to the story behind Donkey Kong, Mario mistreated (as in abused) him. With Mario being a plumber and not being properly educated in the care of primates this isn’t surprising.

If you really go into analyzing the game you can spot Donkey Kong in a cage and Mario holding a whip. Credit to Steve Blair over at Cracked for pointing that one out!

It kind of makes you rethink Marios intentions with the princess too doesn’t it?

 

Mortal Kombat

Before you accuse me of picking on Nintendo, let’s take a look at Mortal Kombat. What’s it about? Well it’s about the best fighters in the world defending the planet against invasion from an inter dimensional alien race in a tournament. If we lose the tournament 3 times 10 times in a row (special thx to Larry L for spotting the typo) they get to invade and we’re screwed.

You know because…aliens tend to want to win a tournament before launching a full scale invasion and killing everyone on your planet. Mortal Kombat’s story has taken so many illogical twists and turns over the years that even the core concept is all but gone. In each sequential game there seems to be less and less reason for anyone to even be fighting.

 

Battletoads

A guy called Professor T. Bird (reference to The T-Birds in Grease?) sends 2 toads after another toad and a princess who got kidnapped by a dark queen. The Dark Queen then ran off to some planet somewhere knowing the remaining toads will seek her out to rescue the princess and the toad called…Pimple. This makes sense right? I’m not gonna say more then.

 

Doom

You take up the role of a marine who got sent to Mars as punishment because he beat the crap out of his commanding officer. It’s up to you and only you to stop Hell from invading Earth. You of course fail and they invade anyway forcing you to go into Hell itself to get right to the root of the problem.

The obvious question remains; if marines are that tough and a single one can do what the guy in Doom does…where are all the other marines and every other country that has an army? Humans are so advanced in this game they colonized Mars and 2 of its moons, surely there must be at least 1 or 2 other people around who could help? A space ship? Someone? Anyone? Nope. Just 1 guy out of a population of over 7 billion people.

 

UPDATE

The peeps over at N4G have some pretty interesting explanations and thoughts about Doom. Head on over to N4G and join the convo or simply tell us what you think in the comments below!

 

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3 Responses to Things you probably didn’t think about while playing these games…

  1. rogu3bot

    I totally root for team rocket in pokemon b&w, free pikachu!

  2. Jason

    Head over to N4G? Are you serious, that site is absolute sh*t with nothing but delusional pauperstation fanboys?

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